To do list

Well. This has been some year. It's time for a look back and a look forward, if only briefly. Of course, most of this has been edited, due to the fact... well, due to the fact that I would like to keep at least some privacy in my life.

This past year:
A year of pain, a year of firsts, a year of coming into my own. I grew, somewhat. I fell back, a lot. I did things I'm very proud of, things that I look back and say "Wow, that took guts! Why didn't I do that years ago?" And of course, the things that I definitely should not have done.

There was a lot of coming to terms with the world around me, with my family, with my friends. Recognizing that the world does not revolve around me, not even in the slightest, and that I have no control over most major aspects of my life. But that I still have to control my reactions to the outside world. Which I haven't been so successful with either. And then... relief. sorrow. regret. determination.


This coming year:
I will go after what I want. When I finally figure out what that is.

I will control my facial expressions.
I will have the determination to carry things through.
I will let go of my anger.
I will realize that I cannot judge those people whom I judge most harshly.
I will not judge people.
I will read more.
I will watch TV less.
I will be nicer to my roommates.
I will let go.
I will go to my cousins for shabbos.
I will call my parents more often.
I will call my aunts and uncles more often.
I will spend less money on cooler clothes.
I will buy a pair of patent-leather mary-janes.
And ballet flats.
I will be less of an airhead.
I will read more Leonard Cohen and more Borges.
I will make less fun of my dates.
I will be a more open individual.
I will be nice when I meet new people.
I will try and quit my job.

I will probably fail in most of these, but at least I'll always have fabulous shoes.