and the winner of the birthday sweeps is...

The pedicure, due to proximity, stress, and the possibility of a foot massage.

I got it last night, at a place around the corner from work. My first one ever! Not so happy with the color, but that was 45 minutes of pampering that was just awesome. Did you know they have these funky massage chairs that you sit in while they're bathing your feet? Did you know that they massage your calves when you get a pedicure?? I had no idea until then that even my legs were stressed out. Is that too much information?

Sketchiness: They had men giving some of the pedicures. Very weird.

Still debating whether I'm going to get myself more birthday presents. I've added an Ipod to my wish list, but I think I'm too poor for that much of a treat.

Watch out Paul Hamm! I'm on my way to Glory!

RD was complaining about her obsession with the Olympics this morning, which led to the following IM conversation:

me: you should become an Olympian. you could be the next paul hamm
RD: don't joke. I'm thinking of taking up table tennis
RD: it's really the only thing i think i have a chance in
me: too much carpal tunnel
me: what about running?
RD: um yeah
RD: no
RD: not gonna get to the olympics with running
RD: i figure table tennis, as a US athlete, is my best in
RD: wanna try for doubles with me?
me: can't
me: tendonitis
me: plus i'm not very coordinated
RD: hmmm… so what were u thinking
me: i think i'd have my best shot in...
me: um
me: .....
me: um
me: ooooh
me: crew!
RD: ok sweetie
me: i could be the guy at the end yelling directions!
RD: oh ok maybe
RD: cuz the actual rowers are just a LITTLE taller than you
me: silly!
me: i don't have that kind of muscle anyway
RD: we could get you in shape
me: i'm not sure about my right & left though. do you think that would be a problem?
me: right!! oh. I mean LEFT!
me: oh wait.
me: i was right the first time
me: yeah... maybe not so good

happy birthday to me...

Tomorrow (and tonight) is my hebrew birthday, the start of t'kufat birthday! I'm still deciding what to buy myself as a present. It's down to a pedicure, a new painting, or someone to clean my apartment.

Other suggestions are welcome. Of course, my upcoming trip to L.A. might be expensive enough to exclude all other gifts from me to me, but of course, it could never exclude gifts from those who are so-inclined to provide them.

thoughts on closure

Life is great in the movies... villains divulge their illogic right before they get blown to bits, mysteries are revealed, romances are resolved. In real life: not so much. In fact, not at all.

Kind of obvious, so what's the impetus for this post?

I (not so) recently spoke to an ancient ex, and the entire conversation had the feeling of closure--we didn't discuss the massive blowup we had while dating, or the distance before we broke up: we just talked superficially about how things were going, what we were doing in life. There was just a satisfying lack of that undertext that took place in every conversation we had for the past 5 years. And I don't know if that was just my perspective or if that was a real reduction of any resentment that had been left. The odd thing about that was that suddenly I felt free of him, and hoping that he'd be happy soon.

And then I was thinking of friends who I had more-than-friendships with, that were never completely resolved one way or the other. The lack of confrontation, until now, was always a driving force, in many cases for me, though in some cases for the other people. Though I know that returning to things 2 or three years later is ridiculous. The closure of Hollywood endings is really only for the movies. Real closure only comes when I can finally look at someone and realize that it's over. Whatever has been discussed is it. And whether I like it or not, whether there's more left unsaid, it doesn't matter.

Because closing things up just for my own satisfaction can and will just re-open issues for the other people involved. And for me too. Life is messy. I can deal with that. And what will make me happy is not making sure that everyone knows how they've injured me, or chewing people out when they've been complete jerks. What will make me happy is resolving it within myself. I determine my own self-worth. Not anyone else. So whatever anyone else realizes or not, it should not affect my attitudes and thoughts.

Even if it would be kind of nice.

tripping

Went home last weekend, and I've been recovering since.

I got no sleep, since we were in a rented cottage with really uncomfortable mattresses and apparently a leak above my bed on Friday night. I moved into my brother's room, which worked until my father woke him up for shacharit at some way too early time in the morning. That's besides the overnight bus on Thursday night, the random staying up late Saturday night, and the trip back to my brother's on Sunday, which basically took all day (it takes way longer to travel with a four-month old).

But i did get to go to the beach, picked roadside blueberries with my nephews, had a nice talk with little brother who's going to yeshiva in Israel next week, and got a fabulous nap in the hammock outside (SO comfy!).

Discovery of the weekend: I'm a very boring person. My mother's friend came over Friday night and was asking me what I do after work. After pausing for several minutes, I realized the only thing I could do to fulfil her expectations of my very exciting nightlife was to lie. So I told her I go out to bars and clubbing every night. I knew that didn't work when even her 5-year-old daughter started to laugh.

*sigh*

Copy Cats

In an article about cloning cats (don't forget to check out the name of the company!), the part I liked best were the cat names: The mother cat's name was Tahini, and the clones? Tabouli and BabaGanoush.

Humous anyone?